Setting the Stage

This is it.  It’s the big day. The day you have been planning for months. You have everything in place, all the spreadsheets and Pinterest boards are actualized. The air is electric, charged with excitement and anticipation. You walk down the aisle and are doing your best to hold back the tears. You see the cast of characters that have helped make you who you needed to be to find your way to this day. You are almost there, you look up and see your partner’s face smiling in anticipation of your arrival and in the center of your tribe, you see the face of a stranger…your wedding officiate [screeching halt, what the ?!?].

Stranger Danger is Real!

Not only did this scene play out on our wedding day, but our officiate mispronounced my name during the ceremony.  While the bungling of my name provided a bit of comic relief for those of us at the center of attention and made for some great candid photos, it is not what I hoped for. I planned for everything, but what happens when the minister can’t even pronounce your name.

Flip the Script

“You need not be [insert name here] in a ceremony script that has been used hundreds of times. ”

The good news, is that today there are options. You need not be [insert name here] in a ceremony script that has been used hundreds of times. Your big day should be exactly that, YOUR day, a day to celebrate your journey and your story. Who better to be the person to stand with you during this moment in your life than a family member or friend that you both love and respect? Your wedding day third wheel, your storyteller, your master of ceremony should be someone who has been with you along your journey. Not someone you have spent a total of 30 minutes with.

Will You Marry Us?!?

There are many things to consider when choosing who you will ask to stand with you on your big day:

“There is no perfect formula to officiate a wedding, every couple is different. Every family is different. Every ceremony is different. Often times ­it is the minister that is the special sauce that makes it unique.”
  • Do you have a friend or family member that you both love and respect?
  • Does this potential officiate know you as a couple? How have they been a part of your journey as a couple?
  • Does this individual have stage presence? Charisma? Can they “bring people with them?”
  • [Full list of things to consider]

Once you have decided who will officiate your wedding ceremony, the next step is for your friend or family member to apply for ordination. Once ordained, your minister should also do their homework on the steps necessary to perform a legal wedding ceremony in your state [marriage licensing requirements by state]

Last but not least, your newly ordained minister has some additional homework to do; spinning your tale, your story…. writing your ceremony [ minister resources].